Thursday, August 5, 2010

Oh,Summer 2010.

I don’t really know what I want or what this will give me, I don’t know what to write or actually what to say but I can't find anything better to do, so here goes nothing.
This summer has been the weirdest ever, starting by the fact that I was actually done with my first year at university, that’s kind of overwhelming. Hmm, first year was actually great, hectic, amazing, frustrating, effort demanding and relaxed—it was everything.

As the last days in the second semester approached it was extremely hectic and mind wrecking at University, It was crazy and deadlines were approaching fast and I had no time to do anything and at some point frustration took over me and it brought out the worst in me. I was extremely exhausted physically and emotionally, but that was all forgotten as the last day in the first year of university approached, then something unexpected happened, I had huge problems with two of my best friends which kind of affected my friendship with everyone, this thing took over my life for a whole month of depression, cutting down on food, continuous weeping and the miserable facial expression I always wore. It was about the worst month of my life, let alone the worst vacation I ever had.

After sometime I got accustomed to not having best friends for a while and I gave up on the thought of being happy at all and boredom started kicking in, so I decided to apply for Funyard to get things off my mind and maybe go back to my normal life if that was even possible – I thought- . And so I did apply last minute and got accepted.
Funyard started bringing fun in my life again and made me distracted and I finally knew how to be happy again. It was delightful to be around children whom their biggest problems are who sat on their swing or who ran after them while playing or why their hands got dirty in an Art class. It was also very nice to get to be around fresh new people whom you absolutely have no reason to have problems with. Then I started my new policy of actually being nice to everyone, I've been hated enough by others. And that’s what I did and soon enough Funyard came to an end making my summer seem a little bit better. And to get appraised by Miss layla actually made me see that when I focus on something, I get it done perfectly.

The day just after Funyard I was headed to London, I was soo excited to go and see a new country and be around new people and do new things. That's what I exactly did, it was just amazing, and the city was extremely clean and crowded. I loved it, all the parks here and there satisfying my sick love to the color green. The peacefulness of eating cupcake and having a hot chocolate in the chilly weather by the lake in Hyde Park was not at all bad! Last day in London, I was not ready to leave all this and go back to my crappy life that I earlier was determined to change, but I really missed my dad, my brother, my cat and my home that I had to go back for a while.

So then I was back to beloved Cairo where everything is not easy and peaceful and you can't have a decent hot chocolate by the lake or walk in the streets without being haunted by every guy's craving eyes marking your every move. But that's not the point. I was back to doing -- nothing ,the only thing I wanted when I was being crushed by deadlines in university, the thing that now is making my life absolutely boring. Anyway, the thing with my best friend got fixed and we got back to what seems to be the normal now. After that problem had happened my perspectives on many things had changed completely and my vision of my friends and my life had changed too. Along with these changes came the changes with the relationship between my mother and I which started out perfectly this summer and kept going downhill from there. It seems like there is no right way to communicate anymore, I don’t understand where or what the problem is. So I sat down with my dad and he explained his point and I explained mine and we solved that and went back to being a happy connected family who care about each other and not self centered. But then dad went to the states leaving me with my mum and brother. My relationship with my brother is great, we understand each other and talk about everything, and he helps me out in a lot of stuff because he's much smarter than me though younger, yeah sure we fight every now and then but that's the normal between siblings. My relationship with my mother though is on rocky grounds now, although I tried being with them all the time I could, I'm still the bad guy in the family. When I'm frustrated, I get the comments "why are giving us the face, you are not the only one suffering here"."Why are you bored?", when I'm not frustrated and I decide to go out "why do you need to go out now?"."Why are you always disconnected from us?". It's not that at all, I want to have fun and be around them too. I don't know what to do, maybe I will figure out the answer later.

Since Ramdan is few days away, it kind of means summer is over its time to concentrate on what's important. I'm a person, who loves Ramdan and the Ramdan spirit, the food, the family gatherings, the prayers and the environment itself. So, I'm pretty excited about that.

Summer 2010,did not really go like I hoped, though I'm grateful I got to work at Funyard and meet amazing people and also go to London and have an amazing time there! ( I soo wanna go back).

Let's see where life takes me from now. For now, am just going to stick to watching "How I Met Your Mother", got myself pretty addicted to that stuff.

NM. 5.8.10

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