Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Cheer up.

To start off this post I have to say that I really miss writing, creative writing, not the babbling am going to lay down here. I had been thinking a lot about a topic to write about they’re so many I didn’t know where to start, so I decided I’m going to start from the beginning from where all the shit started – Summer 2011.

It’s safe to say that this is by far the worst summer in my life. I’ve had a total of 2 jobs, 1 surgery, 2 move outs and 3 days of traveling. To sum up, it was a whole 77 days of misery. And just thinking about it makes me sad. Thinking about last year’s summer when I was roaming the beautiful streets of London. Little did I know of what was waiting for me this summer…

This summer I have been told to cheer up over a 100 times and the more people tell me to cheer up the more miserable I become. It only showed me how much people don’t understand. I mean why should they?

A person should be given their time to be sad or miserable, I don’t have to be smiling 24/7.

Despite the fact of it being a very dark miserable summer for me, I learned a lot. I learned how to be patient because sometimes you have no other choice but to wait. I learned to accommodate myself to the situation and somehow just try to let it be. I don’t deny the fact that I was miserable throughout the whole process and a bit childish at times but this only helped me see how much I’ve grown just realizing this fact. I learned that in this world there are things that matter more than shopping, going out with friends and just having fun. Sometimes we have to suffer to appreciate the good times we used /going to have. I learned to appreciate the things I have and more importantly I learned to appreciate my family. Friends are not always there, so all you people out there who can’t wait to get out of your homes, or can’t stand the lectures your parents give you, you will learn it the hard way that nobody lasts in your life but your family.

It’s in my nature to see all the negativity first, but life is not just negative, this summer was also a very memorable one. I got 2 jobs and this added more to my experience and enriched my personality and I was proud because I actually achieved something at work. I also went to Ain-el-Sokhna (Red Sea) with my best friend Mai, though it was a short trip but one of the best in my life. But really the best thing about this summer was Ramadan. How happy I was that month I can’t describe. I felt very much at ease and very much close to God and that just made me plainly happy. I wish I could relive this month over and over again. And In Ramadan I was practically living with my uncle and got the chance to actually know my 5 year old cousin Mohamed which happens to love me and my family soo much it’s just soo sweet.

At the end of this post I’d like to just simply apologize to whom I’ve hurt in the process of recovering from my miserable summer. I apologize to whom I’ve affected with my negativity, I apologize for being cold, selfish or aggressive. I would also like to thank everyone who has been there for me even though I was pushing everyone away and thank you to those who showed me that they don’t matter to me as much as I don’t matter to them.

I'm not sorry for being sad, i'm only sorry it lasted that long. And though it may seem like i had a pretty lousy summer, I'm still alive and healthy, I have my family around me and I have my beautiful new home. So maybe, just maybe, it wasn't that bad after all..