Walking in your arms never felt more secure and comfortable like now. I've always imagined this moment to be such a magical moment. It's as if we're in a world alone and lost in the beauty of its pureness. The world where we are always the highest in the clouds however, with all this perfection something felt really wrong. With the warmth of this feeling, my body alters at a surreal sense of happiness and satisfaction only to be blocked by my mind with rejection.
Walking under the beautiful twilight sun never wanting to leave.How can a moment this magical feel so wrong. I try to look up to see your face but every time I fail. Being taller than me with a bigger structure than mine you have me in your arms like I'm your precious to protect. Being protected by you feels complete, but being loved by you doesn't. Who are you? Why can't I see you?
This was the feeling I felt everyday, walking by the beach just like we used to walk everyday. Your ghostly presence has been keeping me company this whole year, the tears that I shed fall into the sand and mark a death stone of their own. Your death never sunk in till now. Just how can it? I have never lost a loved one before - not to death anyway -
Now the cold wind just lingers through every inch of my body instead of your warm hands. I walk down the line of our brushed footprints. Forever not knowing which way to go, but I keep going anyway, getting lost in the beauty of the unknown.
- I wrote this months ago
- I don't know why it's called arms
- Edited by Islam Al Masry
( first time in my life to allow someone to edit for me, but Thank you).
Monday, January 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
How could I have forgotten such an important date? It really proved I’m swamped with work. I hadn’t written anything for my best friend in a while, even though he hinted that the note I wrote him last year was the one of the best things he read. For that I’m sorry that this year’s note is soo very short, but please know that it’s all sincere and from the heart.
Yet another year passed, and my bestest friend in the world just turned 20! It’s 9 years now and still counting. No words can describe how much I love Mahmoud and how he is more than just a brother to me. Every year, I count it as a blessing that Mahmoud is still in my life.
This is to you friend, thank you for always being there for me, thank you for being awesome, thank you for being just who you are and most importantly thank you for being my friend.
I wish you all the best and better years to come, even though with bigger age comes bigger responsibility, but I’m sure that Mahmoud, someday you will impress the world as you always impress me.
I love you best friend and Have the Happiest of Birthdays. 20, is great, use it wisely ;)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Time has influenced a lot of the decision I take in my life and a lot of the things I do, theirs is never enough of it when you need it, yet all the time when you don’t. I wrote this from my iPod because the minute I touch my laptop I will be intrigued to go back to work and stop writing.
The night had turned to day when the sun had found it's way through the cloudy sky, a ray of sun crippled into my room lighting up what was left in the dark last night, giving hope and promise of a new shiny day. Had I opened my eyes to that, it might have been a beautiful morning, but the sound of the alarm was the only thing capable of opening up those puffy sleep deprived eyes of mine. I sat there in bed wondering why I should get up get dressed an go to university, was it really worth it to get up and fight for another day? I finally decided it was worth it; I didn't come soo far to give up now. It has been another 15 hours since I last saw my bed or felt a hint of comfort. Every inch in my body aches, yet none of all this effort is ever enough. It's 1:25 am and yet another night of an endless battle lies ahead of me.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
At the end of every year we make resolutions, we hope and wish that next year will come carrying a better tomorrow and future. Every year leaves a mark on us, something remarkable, something we will never forget. But every year won’t be like 2011, which I would like to call the never-ending eventful year. I probably have been subjected to things this year that I haven’t been subject to in my 20 years of existence. Not just me in this case, every Egyptian on the planet.
This year taught me a lot and changed in soo many ways, now I see the world differently, it’s one of those years you feel you have really grown.
Blogging about this year would be soo hard, because of the amount of events, memories and experiences it offered. I have been postponing writing this post because I always had soo much to say but soo little time, but now that I have the time I feel some how speechless.
This year I got to experience many emotions one of which was fear, but fear in the real sense of fear, not the fear of an ugly insect or the fear of failing an exam, but the fear of one of your loved ones being in danger, the fear of hearing gunshots, the fear of seeing a military tank just crossing your street.
I got to experience betrayal; betrayal of relatives, betrayal of friends, the lack of trust was soo high it was unbelievable. It’s like you can’t really depend on anyone or trust anyone.
Starting with the revolution (http://nadousha0192.blogspot.com/2011/02/dear-john.html) , or should I say the life changing experience? Or maybe the horrifying experience, the honorable experience? You name it the way you see it and the way you chose to participate or not participate in this revolution that changed all our lives (http://nadousha0192.blogspot.com/2011/10/28012011.html). I’m not going to write about what I think of the revolution because I already have detailed posts that document that event in particular (http://nadousha0192.blogspot.com/2011/02/tahrir.html). But what I’m going to say is that I’m not proud of the way the year ended with a lot of innocent Egyptians dying to the schemes and filthy moves of “whoever”. It’s sad and just heartbreaking when you are 5 meters away from a normal healthy guy and in a blink of an eye you find him on the ground bleeding to death just because the authorities thought it was the right thing to do. (http://nadousha0192.blogspot.com/2011/11/diaries-of-tahrir-boy.html)
Moving on, aside the revolution it was a very hard semester (semester 4, end of 2nd year) at university. A lot of challenges and choices had to be made concerning my major. I had to finally choose between product and graphic design. But, it was already decided and I just never knew it that my heart was into product design.
Summer arrived quickly it was like the year was flying fast and here came the hardest part. My parents had bought us a new place in Al Tagmoa Al Khamis and we had to move out, only our home wasn’t ready yet so we moved out in a temporary place. This is where the misery all started (http://nadousha0192.blogspot.com/2011/09/cheer-up.html ). Summing up the summer I would say that I moved from a home to home 2 times in a month, worked 2 times in 2 months and had a surgery (http://nadousha0192.blogspot.com/2011/08/cap-and-gown-hospital-edition.html.).
Semester 5 then rushed without giving us a break and still to this day I’m suffering and trying to end it peacefully. This semester really is testing my patience and persistence towards product design which I would never have presumed it would be that hard, but everyday that I’m faced with challenges that I don’t turn my back to is a day that I’m proud of myself. I learned a lot, gained a lot of experiences and learned that I just can’t give up on something I love. One of the very big accomplishments this semester was joining GUCMUN HRC and joining Bdaya’s Geneh under the SOC.
The year had been moving into fast forward, yet due to all the events that were occurring it felt really long, but sooner or later it had to come to an end. And trying to blog about the whole year in one post would somehow be pointless because what happened and what I’ve experienced can’t be described or summed up, but it doesn’t hurt to take a peek in the past.
At the beginning of every year, I celebrate my birthday and hope for a new beginning a fresh start and for new wise resolutions and a more determined future, but sometimes the beauty lies within the unknowingness of the future.
And as usual since a picture is worth a thousand words here are very few photos of some of my favorite times this year.